Tuesday, August 1, 2017

What Lies Ahead

There are times when I look back on all we've been through with fertility and losing our son and I never imagined, even as a child, such things could occur.  I look at my daughter every now and again wondering what she will have to go through as a mother.

Is infertility passed down?  Will she struggle to get pregnant the way we did?  If so, I dread watching her go through the heartbreaking journey.

I KNOW she and her unborn children will be tested for CHARGE Syndrome even though the doctors have told us Trey's case was a fluke.  By then I am sure she will know more details surrounding her brother's passing, I will HAVE to tell her.  She deserves to know before she decides to have a family.  How would her partner feel about all of it?  Would he/she be too scared to risk having a child born with a medical condition that can span a long range in complexity?  Would he/she risk having a child with CHARGE only to have it die?

These worries don't plague me all of the time, but every now and again, I get the same worries that all mothers do about what the future holds for their children.  I cannot control what will happen but I hope I am around and able to be a source of support for her if there are roadblocks.  I hope to celebrate the blessings life has in store for her.  But mostly, I can only hold hope that her journey into and through parenthood will bear no resemblance to the rocky road I traveled.

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