Wednesday, August 16, 2017

Trey's Service Project Extended

In December of last year, one of my students found out that he had Leukemia for the 2nd time.  As you can imagine this news was devastating to him and his family not to mention the financial strain it has put on his parents.  In March, my service project for Trey's Birthday centered around raising money for his family symbolizing the 2500 plus days we have been without Trey.  We didn't raise NEARLY as much as I would've liked so I have vowed to keep the YouCaring donation site up until we reach our goal.  Please see the information below, share and give if you are able.  THANKS!

April 4th, 2017 will mark 2,922 days without our son Trey earned his wings and was freed from complications of CHARGE Syndrome.  Every year I perform a service project in his honor.  This year's project is especially personal because it centers around one of my students who is conquering Leukemia for the 2nd time.  Ryan is a charismatic young man who has put up quite a fight against this disease.

In remembrance of the 2,922 days without our son, I would like to raise $2,922 for the Alarcon family to assist with expenses incurred during this battle.  Of course I hope to raise more.  Please share this event with everyone so we can drum up some support.  The fundraiser will end on April 4, 2017 which is Trey's 8th Heavenly Birthday.  Thank you in advance for your support and for spreading the word!  #savageryan12 #cancersucks   


Click the link below:
Rooting For Ryan

Tuesday, August 1, 2017

What Lies Ahead

There are times when I look back on all we've been through with fertility and losing our son and I never imagined, even as a child, such things could occur.  I look at my daughter every now and again wondering what she will have to go through as a mother.

Is infertility passed down?  Will she struggle to get pregnant the way we did?  If so, I dread watching her go through the heartbreaking journey.

I KNOW she and her unborn children will be tested for CHARGE Syndrome even though the doctors have told us Trey's case was a fluke.  By then I am sure she will know more details surrounding her brother's passing, I will HAVE to tell her.  She deserves to know before she decides to have a family.  How would her partner feel about all of it?  Would he/she be too scared to risk having a child born with a medical condition that can span a long range in complexity?  Would he/she risk having a child with CHARGE only to have it die?

These worries don't plague me all of the time, but every now and again, I get the same worries that all mothers do about what the future holds for their children.  I cannot control what will happen but I hope I am around and able to be a source of support for her if there are roadblocks.  I hope to celebrate the blessings life has in store for her.  But mostly, I can only hold hope that her journey into and through parenthood will bear no resemblance to the rocky road I traveled.

Friday, July 21, 2017

Writer's Block

Well, here I am again, a year after my last post, trying to figure out how I have strayed so far from my blog.  It has really been on my mind as of late.  I think about it on Angel Babies' birthdays, when friends share things about their babies on social media, when parents speak of their Angels, when I see the Angel Steps logo sticker on my car (note to self: get more made), when someone references Angel Steps, when I share on the Angel Steps Facebook site, when I am spear heading Trey's service projects, when my receipt comes in each month for the payment for this site, and on Trey days.

So with all of this thinking, I am still not posting.  I have awesome ideas but life gets in the way. I am so busy "living" in the present it's hard to retreat to the past.  Yet, I don't think the past is why I started all of this.  I didn't want Angel Steps to become a lamented place and I think that, at the beginning at least, I tried to make this blog about living and loving through loss.  I am still living and loving through my loss and I still have some great ideas of what to write about.

That being said, I am an idea person which sometimes means that ideas keep floating out there because I am not all that skilled in follow through.  I need to start jotting my ideas down and taking time each week, or whenever I can, to transform these ideas into communication and healing.

Yes, I am still healing.  I forever will be.  Time does NOT heal all wounds.  Grief does NOT get easier, it just changes.  These are things I need to write about.  I am thankful for those who have stuck with me, supported my efforts, and encouraged me to keep at it.

You haven' heard the last of me...