Saturday, March 30, 2013

Why do I cry

...when I didn't truly bond with him in this life?

...when he was only here 13 days?

...when we were careful about our visits because they had to stabilize him after we left?

...when I don't the cast memories most parents have?

...when my hope for his survival out weighed everything a mother should be doing with a newborn?

...when he never drank the breast milk I pumped for him?

...when I couldn't bear to be there when he died?

...when I didn't realize that the baby I was physically connected to was in trouble?

...when I was in denial that he was not going to make it?

...when I created Angel Steps to support families like ours?

...when parents make a connection with the things that I write?

...when I perform service projects in his honor?

...when he is with me always?

...when he has touched to many in his short life?

...when his legacy is carried out by me?

...when I know that God saved him the sickness of this Earth?

...when I know he is my personal Angel for life?

...when I feel such pride as a Mommy for my first born?

...when I feel the love that everyone has for "Our Boy"?

...when I know he is taking all Angel Babies when they go to Heaven?

...when mt favorite picture of him with his eyes open makes me smile?

...when Lorelei points to his picture and says "baaaaaaaby"?

...when loved ones join in the conversation when I speak of him?

...when I was lucky enough to get pregnant with him when so many struggle to become parents?

...when I can picture him with my Mucca and all of the other loves ones I miss in Heaven?

...when I know that he hears me when I talk to him?

...when I know that he is proud that I am his Mommy?

...when he was given the choice of which soul to send down to us to be his sibling?

...when I look at Lorelei and see all of  the smiles I missed with Trey?

I cry because of the pride I feel for my son, Trey.  

1 comment:

  1. This post just touched my heart down to the core. I wrote about Trey this morning on my balloon blog which is or you can google it. I have a FB page and a website.