Monday, February 11, 2013


So many people have asked why I am not in therapy or a member of a support group.  Their concerns are warranted but don't apply to my grief.  I am honored by their concern but each person's grief belongs to them and it's up to the individual how they deal with it.

In all honesty, my therapy is here, Angel Steps.  I blog honestly and people connect with what I write.  Through my blog I am able to release my inner most musings, no holds barred, and in rough times I have an outlet to express the darkest of feelings and thoughts.  These musings have been published and sought out by book publishers due to their candid content.  I have shunned book publishers because they insist on charging me upfront for the publishing fees.  It makes me only want to publish my writings for free.  I feel more freedom not having the pressure of the book that they want to publish.  If I ever did write a book, ALL proceeds would go to CHARGE and Egleston Children's Hospital.  I have never wanted to publish a book for my own gain.

Through Angel Steps I provide charity and help to those in need in the name of my son.  I am contacted by my friends and family when someone loses their child asking if I could help.  EVERY time I offer my help, but only when the Angel Parent is ready.  I am honored that these loved ones would even consider me to help, it must mean I am making some sort of positive impact.  The CHARGE organization had sought me out on more than one occasion to comfort families impacted by the passing of a CHARGEr and I rush to meet their needs.  Each year I plan a service project for Trey's birthday in his honor.  This makes me the happiest of all.

No offense to those who find solace in support groups, but going to meetings and hearing everyone's stories of loss would only bring me down.  I would much rather go with this format and those effected can chime in when they need to.  If they need to interact with me about my posts, whether to agree or disagree, I am here and I always will be.

My grief is for me.  It is a personal grief that only involves me and my love for Trey.  I feel that this sorrow will teach me lessons in life that I would have never gotten otherwise.

I already have therapy: in the love of my son, family and friends, in Angel Steps, in reaching out to others trying to survive losing their children.  It's a lot of work....but so is therapy.

1 comment:

  1. i remember once saying that i loved ur grief no not coz i love ppl beign sad or grieving but coz you do things to help others like you yes i do love how you do it and i wish i could help you more if you were doing the toiletries collection in july i could collect you a hole bunch when im there for the charge conf oh hang on i have an idea ill pm u on fb treys angel date is coming to mind here love u xxx