Monday, December 3, 2012

Broken Heart

When you were conceived our hearts were full with love for you.
We listened to your strong heat beat at every appointment.
Your Daddy's heart grew two sizes when he learned you would have his namesake.
Every day we would fill out hearts with your movements and hiccups.

I don't want to remember the appointment our hearts took a turn for the worse.
All of a sudden your heart was to focus of our lives.
Doctors spent hours looking at your heart trying to find missing physical pieces.
They didn't know your heart was full of love all along.

Your heart told you that you were in trouble so you had to make your escape.
They invaded our last moments together, when our hearts were close to each other.
They monitored your heart while mine was chasing every hope that you were ok.
My heart stopped when yours did as you were born.

I begged them to make your heart work while mine was sinking.
My heart stilled while I waited for your Daddy to come in with news of your health.
When he did, we all could tell his heart was overwhelmed.
His troubled heart stole the flush from his face and words from comforting me.

In a very late hour, our heavy hearts went to see you in your stable environment.
We learned of the weak physical condition of your heart, the heart we lived by.
My heart couldn't comprehend the news of your condition.
They took me back to my room to let my heart process the news.

Over the next few days your heart was what kept us alive.
We lived and breathed knowing your heart was still going.
Our visits with you excited your heart and we worried it was too much.
Our hearts were re-inflated with each day you persevered.

For ten days our hearts beat with yours loving every moment together.
Your beating heart was what we had longed for all along.
When we held you, our hearts beat as one yet three.
Your life spawned the hopes of our hearts, that you would be well.

The day came when your heart led you to gain a bed at the children's hospital.
Our hearts glowed as they prepared you for transfer.
The heart of a nurse called my attention to your open eyes, a picture I always wanted.
I took it as a sign that all of our hearts would be healed.

They let me ride with you on the journey to a healthier heart awaiting you.
But they would not let our hearts be in the same part of the ambulance.
The racing of my heart was registered with every bump in the long journey.
Finally I lightened the heart of the traveling doctor as we arrived.

As your heart was being stabilized ours were settling into the comfort of your care.
Our hearts praised your admission into a hospital of healing.
In our hearts we felt our prayers were answered, that you would heal.
Our hearts rested easier that night, resting near you, hoping for you.

In the morning our hearts were dancing in possibility.
Our inspired hearts came together to meet with the doctors in your care.
Their hearts came together in a delicate way to tell us of your fate.
That is when the cracks in our hearts began to form.

With every gruesome detail, the cracks in our hearts began to spread.
The cracks in our hearts grew depth with your prognosis, with the truth.
My heart was not ready for the explanation from your Daddy.
Your heart had been compromised by your fight for life.

On our fourth wedding anniversary, the hearts of your Daddy and I cemented.
Our heavy hearts came together and decided to save you.
Your heart had been through too much, it was over worked.
Your heart needed peace, needed to be put to rest.

Part of our hearts died that day, our hearts were fragile like yours.
Like everyone else, we could not understand how hearts could be broken like this.
My heart could not stand to be there when your heart physically stopped.
I knew it was forever and my heart would have to keep on beating.

I would have traded hearts with you in an instant.
Our hearts began to shatter through the cold veil of shock.
Those were the days when your heart at peace gave us solace.
Your heart felt no pain, our hearts still beat through the pain.

With your heart whole and healthy in Heaven.
Our hearts splintered under the weight of grief.
Through time we put the pieces back together in our own hearts and each other's.
Until almost all of the pieces of our hearts are back in their places.

You had your heart set on another soul to for us to have and to hold.
Her heart possessed the physical strength yours lacked with the same spiritual strength.
She brought to us a sweetness that caramelized the broken pieces of our hearts.
Though they are now glazed with the love of our children, the heart cracks still show.

Time has harden that sweet glaze holding the pieces of our hearts together.
The seams still show, but your brave heart has made fissures into mere scars.
Each day with your sister and in your legacy fades the scars that marred our hearts.
Our broken hearts are strengthening under the strong love from both of our children.

The hearts of the four of us are strong, both in the spiritual and character sense.
Love connects our hearts like no bond has ever before.
The healing of all of our hearts makes us stronger, our hearts growing with love.
Even though my heart is broken, your daddy, you and your sister make it complete.

Thank you!

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