Saturday, December 31, 2011

Just you wait...

For nearly six months now, I have smiled as everyone coos over our daughter, compliments her beauty, and comments on how sweet she is.  As her Mommy, I HAVE to agree.  I gush on how big she is and about her milestones.

Then comes the negative...

"Wait until she starts crawling, she'll keep you busy." "When she starts walking, you won't have it so easy."  "Take advantage of the milk only time, when she starts eating solid food, her poos won't be so pleasant." "Just you wait until she hits the terrible twos, she won't be so sweet anymore."  "You think she's big now, just you wait until she gets THIS big (pointing to their child)."  "Just you wait until she hits puberty, she'll be driving you crazy." "Oh, when they hit the age when they are boy crazy,you'll really have your hands full." "Before you know it she will off to college and married, then you'll miss these days".  "Just you wait, she won't always be this cuddly."

Now, I REALIZE that these well meaning comments are indicators of the future realities I MAY face, yet I am bothered by the comments. All of these comments refer to periods in a child's life that is relative to the parent.  We are not there yet.   I am trying to live in the "now", enjoying every coo, noise, sound, peaceful moments, watching her sleep, laughing at her antics, enjoying my daughter where she is right now.  I get it, these days won't last forever and before I know she will be grown and creating a life of her own, but I don't need to focus on it now, worry about it now, think about it now, or even hear about it now.

The only reason I can think of for people to make such comments is that they long for the days that I am experiencing now.  Maybe they didn't treasure these days or maybe they treasured them so much, they wish there were more times like those to come.  The truth is, these moments come once in a child's lifetime.  Why do they rain on my parade by sharing their own struggles?  Why negate my joy in the now, by telling me about the trials to come?  Can't I enjoy these moments that I will never have again with my daughter?  Even better, why can't they?  Why can't they celebrate her with me?

I won't be able to appreciate these memories fully if I am worried about what's to come.  Reminders of the challenges ahead not only rob me of the pride in the  joyous moments I have with my daughter but they are also aimed at stealing my focus away from the beauty of now.  Living in fear of the future will only lead to guilt and regret that I didn't appreciate these days of milestones, learning, progress, love, and cuddles.

I take pride in living in the now, relishing in my child at THIS stage in her life, and appreciating that these times are fleeting and I have to take it all in and hold it close to my heart.  I will strive to put these foreshadowing comments in the back of mind, if they go there at all.  I will continue to enjoy and value every moment of my child's life without fear of obstacles to come.   By doing this, I will be able to look back and remember fondly how I took the time to focus on my daughter during every stage of her life.

Most of all, I will strive not to negate the gushing of others about their own little ones by sharing my own "Just you wait".

Those of you who have made these comments to me or anyone else, I ain't mad atcha!!  Just exercising my free will to speak my mind just as you have done.

I know parenting challenges are eminent, until then, I will take solace in the notion that LL is thriving, growing, and happy.  She's a sweet girl, getting so big, and is the absolute prettiest baby girl I have EVER seen!!!  

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