I struggled with the decision to chronicle this pregnancy, fearing the backlash I might receive via my honesty and candor. It puzzles me now why I am so concerned about it now, but I wrote so freely for a year about a situation much more tragic than a welcomed pregnancy. On the other hand, there are things that I have already experienced in this pregnancy that I am sure would turn heads and have people telling me to chill out, and that's the last thing I need to hear. So I have decided to go with my gut, to bring to light the realities of being pregnant after suffering the loss of a baby.
Not a lot of people openly discuss losing a child I found, and I am sure even fewer share the journey of a pregnancy following the loss of a child. Most of the responses I received while journaling about the loss of our son were uplifting, gracious, and supportive. I would like to believe that by sharing my journey, I helped other parents who were struggling, or at least shed light on the topic of child loss so that friends and family would have a better understanding. That's my winning lottery ticket fantasy anyway.
With that said, I will not apologize in advance for my honesty and sincerity, I only apologize for the words that escape me. This writing process is dedicated to my soul and the release that it will bring my soul to expel the nightmares of the past through journaling.